EP 2: Limiting Your Social Circle
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This episode we discuss how to evaluate your social circle and toxic personality traits. It's 2019! There's no need to be surrounded by people that bring you down. Quality over Quantity.
At some point, we need to realize that the people we surround ourselves with aren't necessarily the ones we should be around.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
What should you look for in a good social circle? Similar values, you want to have purpose partners, and a healthy give and take relationship.
We live in a time when “bigger is better” it’s an assumption when it comes to, well, just about anything. So it’s only natural for us to want to supersize our network of connections — both online and off — because the more people we know, the greater our chances of being exposed to opportunities that may lead to professional advancement, potential mentors, material success, and so on.
What to look for in a good social circle:
Similar values and goals: it keeps you accountable and motivated.
Associate higher: it’s natural to feel comfortable with people in the same situation but it’s a good step to take outside your comfort zone. You can learn a lot and get exposed to a higher level of living or learning.
Example: shouldn't value everyone's opinion rationalize
Purpose partners: your friends should be people with a purpose. They shouldn't be doing the same thing over and over. Help each other succeed, have your friends be a compliment to your weaknesses so you can grow together.
it’s a give and takes: don’t let people take advantage of you. A friendship shouldn’t make you tired.
The people we surround ourselves with are the biggest influence on our behavior, attitudes, and results.
Who you are around — what they’ve got you thinking, saying, doing and becoming — sets the course of your life.
They determine what conversations dominate your attention. Eventually, you start to think as they think and behave as they behave. Add people to your inner circle that you want to be.
It’s a fact of life that some people hold us back, while other propel us forward. That’s just the way it is, so you might as well accept it and learn how to deal with it instead of wishing that reality was different.
You can’t hang out with negative people and expect to have a positive life.
Dr. David McClelland at Harvard said that the number one factor on your wealth is the wealth of your friends. Other research indicates that the number one reason why you work where you work is your friends.
What are the 5 Biggest toxic personality traits one can have or look out for:
Being judgemental:
it's ok to have your own opinion but you're no judge. Remember your opinion and thoughts are shaped by your experiences, just because someone has a different idea or different way of doing something doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Perfectionism
Lots of time this leads to an obsession with minuscule details. Imagine if you wanted to please everyone. You’d go crazy. You can continuously reshape yourself to please others.
Negativity
Do you have that one friend that is just so negative? Shoots down every answer every opinion? Get rid of that guy. What’s his purpose? Just to suck out your energy. Never wants to take a step forward, pointless.
Jealousy
Jealousy means counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Constantly comparing what others have is completely toxic and a waste of time. Your life is your journey, not a competition with others. Measure your progress by comparing yourself to who you were yesterday.
Victimhood
Take responsibility for your life. This only leads to feelings of powerlessness. No, the universe is not against you. Stop giving opportunities to people who make you feel inferior and let you down. Learn the power of saying “no” and “yes” to the right opportunities.
we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves.
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